How To cope after a breakup


For generations we have been inoculated with the idea that breakups are inherently bad.


Despite all these limiting beliefs, an increasingly high number of people who have either broken up with a partner or have been broken up with, have reported that breakups have consistently been the best thing to ever happen to them.


Not only did they learn to have much higher standards for future partners, but they've also lowered their expectations. As they were able to heal, they reported to have never been happier or more grateful for experiencing the painful

emotional 'hellscape' of a dying relationship. A 26-year-old female interviewed highlighted: ‘When we broke up, I rediscovered a super-power that most single people don’t realise they have: It’s the power to rediscover and reinvent who I am as many times as I want, without having to worry about a partner’s ability or desire to grow and change with me’.

Yes, the profound sadness and physical agony after a heartbreak, can make us wonder if there is anything more devastating.For some people, mornings after a breakup are especially unbearable. However, all breakups are different, some may take a week to get over, while others can take months or years. They all can teach us something vital about how we need to live our life in order to be truly happy.

While you’re still in that state of mind, you may become more critical of anything that can be potentially harmful to your wellbeing and happiness.


It’s possible to enjoy being alone without necessarily feeling jealous of people in love. Those first moments and even days after a breakup where you are not crying as much, could be now the ones you appreciate the most.


Even though some people might value romance, they now feel that they wouldn't trade independence for affection.


It might help you realise how much you don’t want abusive relationships being sold to you as “true love.” You might even be able to recognise all the toxic patterns some couples fall into and become comfortable with.

You might be surprised to see how many people are settling with someone who makes them miserable, simply because the alternative of being alone seems too frightening.


So many agree that enjoying the periods of your life where you’re alone, can be a gift, and if you commit to rebuild your life after a breakup with the pure intention to be happy with yourself, it will come true.


After a breakup you might discover versions of yourself you never knew existed.


Suddenly, you find yourself having all this free time and energy to focus on anything you wanted. Showers might get longer and more romantic when every part of your routine isn’t dictated by the other persons expectations of you.

You might realise the health benefits of going to bed early and having an overall healthy sleeping routine. (In case you haven’t considered this, sleeping alone: there is no greater luxury’)

You might like taking the long way home so you can walk around listening to music and you might finally start seeing all of you friends again.

You might decide to become someone the previous you would admire and be kind to.


The truth is, so many different versions of you, live and die every time you breakup with someone. There’s one version that needs to die for your stronger self to come out. The one that only exists within the context of another person.


You have time and dedication to invest in your personal growth.


You might meet a new, more mature and beautiful you, spent all your new time nurturing your inner self while letting go of the habit of depending on someone else for validation.

Sadly, more often than not, the most common fear isn’t about someone else’s absence, but the fear of having to face yourself knowing that you do not have the emotional resources to deal with that.

However, with the right professional support, breakups might allow you to experience moments where, even after being emotionally dragged through miles of broken glass, you can see yourself consciously deciding to thrive, because that’s what you deserve.

If you can’t find in your relationship the freedom you need to be a version of yourself that you love, without the context of your partner; you may want to try being self-partnered.

Get in touch to get professional emotional support through difficult times so you can also be truly happy.


Relationship Therapist in Milton Keynes


Book a free initial consultation to see how we can help you.


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